And what if I like the pain

And what if I like the pain,
it's the only thing consistent
Happiness is the fleeting
tailsheets of a ghost,
my desperation's solid
like the earth,
and constant
like the air,
familiar like my heartbeat
fills my chest.

I remember joy
like a dream.

Turn around failure

Face the facts
then turn away,
forget all you've learned,
come full circle
only to find
you orbit disaster
pulled and repulsed
by the same force of will
which will not break
but always bends
and spirals down
around and around
like a star spinning
around a black hole,
if you turn around
failure long enough,
eventually you'll fall in.