Hidden Forbidden Love

Hidden Forbidden Love

My phone cord wraps around my Ethernet cable, they are in love.

They want to be together, they want to pass packets of information back and forth between one another

Oh, slender shiny silver phone cord indented stripe running your length

alas! your untwisted pair copper wires just don't have the throughput capacity

to handle the bandwidth of the 100BaseT copper on your round red rubber lover

and your RJ-11 male connectors are incompatible with his RJ-45 male connectors.

Alas, you are both male,

and neither of you has an anus, or a mouth, or an orifice of any sort

and so the only way you can connect is by sharing ports on the same wall jack,

but even then your paths never cross

because the telephone is Southwestern Bell

and my network serves the internet to me through Roadrunner

and besides,

I would never dial in through WorldNet

while still connected through the network at a much faster rate.

But the wires want to be together and so I do just that.

I plug them both into my computer.

I plug them both into the wall

and I write a little macro

that pings my own IP address automatically once every second

while at the same time

switching the internet connectivity method

between the NIC and the modem

at about the same rate

the computer fan suddenly turned on

and sighed with relief