Lying broken on the bathroom floor,
she imagines committing baseless acts with other men in front of him
just to see his pained expression, knowing that he will never again
but she isn't like that,
and these are just passing ideas as she deals with her own loss.
Beneath every decision she has made in her life,
runs a vein of fear she could never admit to herself,
a fear that her life is as empty as it seems,
that her religion is not the true one,
that her everyday struggles,
which were so important as they unfolded,
are not being recorded in some great book in the heavens,
and when she forgets them,
they will be no more,
just like all of us,
when we are forgotten.