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In the year 2552,

a group of Klingon students on an archeological dig in Tibet,

discovered an ancient temple containing scrolls outlining the secrets of the Samurai.


The Klingon students decided to devote their lives to the Samurai way,

(it meshed so well with their own),

and lived out the rest of their days studying in the temple,

and guarding its secrets from outsiders.


When the Samurai Students finally died,

their ghosts carried on the task,

and the temple lay haunted and undisturbed for many years.



a group of time traveling Elves stationed on Mars sent a ship back to the year 1315,

where they hoped to retrieve a magic sword from some Vikings.


The Elves had superior technology,

but the Vikings destroyed their time machine with the magic sword,

so the future-elves were trapped in the past,

and they joined the Viking crew.


They then began enhancing their bodies with cyborg technology

until they gained immortality.


Undead, they roamed the seven seas for centuries,

searching for a way back to the future,

until one day,

it was the future again,

the 27th century,

and they knew that if they could get back up to Mars,

they could prevent their past future selves

from traveling back in time to fight the Vikings.


A talking penguin told them that there was a temple in Tibet

where they could find a spaceship built by Ancient Earthlings.


The Undead Cyborg Martian Elf Vikings traveled to Tibet and found the temple,

but when they went inside,

they were attacked by the Ghosts of the Klingon Samurai Archeology Students!

and thus began the greatest battle ever to take place on Earth!


ethereal throwing stars stuck in horned helmets,

cursed laser beams punching holes in spectral samurai,

phantom betleHs and qutluch blades silently slicing through cyborg circuits,

explosive arrows leaving enhanced bows enchanted to blow up ghosts,


and when the dust settled,

it came down to just two men,

or uh...

one Time Traveling Undead Cyborg Martian Elf Viking,


one Klingon Tibetan Samurai Archeology Student Ghost,

and they squinted at each other,

and the Time Traveling Undead Cyborg Martian Elf Viking said,


House of Gah'Kor?

Is that you?

It is I!

Erolith of the Martian Elves!

Can it really be you, Doe'KaT?"


and the Klingon Tibetan Samurai Archeology Student Ghost replied,


I am indeed, Doe'KaT!

It is wonderful to see you, my one true love!"


For yes, Doe'KaT and Erolith were long lost star crossed homosexual lovers,

and they both threw down their assorted weapons,

and made love amidst the bodies of their fallen comrades.


Holding hands,

they found the ship of the Ancient Earthlings,

picked up the talking penguin in Alaska,

and blasted off into space,

for destination,




(c) Copyright 2006, Daniel Strack

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